Mum - please don't read this!

I've had my Amsterdam cherry broken and I'll never be the same... for this reason, parts of this message will be coded in order to protect the innocent - mostly my mum. Sorry mum.

Waking up at the dog-awful time of 5.30am on Saturday morning, I managed to crawl out of bed, have a shower and still make it to the tour departure point on time. Hopping on the bus, my lack of sleep brought on premature grumpiness so I stuck my headphones in and listened to My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult while we drove to Dover - roughly 90 minutes from London.

The day's plan was to take the ferry to Calais (France), then drive up through Belgium until arriving in Amsterdam around 7pm. Not all at once, thankfully: we were stopping for a couple of hours in Bruges (Belgium).

As my first real taste of Europe proper, I couldn't really ask for a better introduction. Rich with beautiful architecture, it was all too easy to wander the streets just admiring the sights - and even easier to get lost. Which I did. Even during my worst directionally challenged moments, I've never panicked quite as much as I did this day.

With time ticking away, I knew I had to find my way back. Rather than simply backtracking the way I came, I caught a lucky break and recognised a landmark I'd wandered past earlier. Reorienting myself, I eventually made it back to our starting point and firmly planted myself close to the departure point. With a bit of time left, I figured I'd grab something to eat (sampling some genuine Belgian fries) and picking up some special souvenirs, before sitting by the water watching the swans and striking up a conversation with some of the others on the tour.

Unfortunately, not everyone on the tour was as lucky as I was.

While I was wandering around panic-stricken, I kept noticing two girls on the tour. Sometimes I was following them, other times they were following me - but they were always around. That is, until it came time to leave. The bus waited around for quite a long time - with the driver even taking a quick jaunt around the area just in case they were close by - but eventually we had to leave without them. Quite a start to the trip!

Back on the coach, I donned my earphones once again and napped the rest of the way until we reached the outskirts of Amsterdam. Now, the tour I chose was remarkably cheap - it turns out there was a reason. This time there were no fancy hostels to stay in: instead, we were sleeping 30 minutes drive outside the city at a campsite! Thankfully we were staying in cabins, but it still meant we needed our own sleeping bag and pillow (which I'd hurriedly rushed out to buy the day before).

After settling in, we once again loaded into the bus for our inaugural descent into the bowels of Amsterdam. Dropping us off at Central Station, I attached myself to a nice South African couple with fantastic music taste, and a pair of young American guys. Wandering the streets occupied most of the evening - most of the time looking for something to eat. In the end, the two guys decided to head off in a different direction. We were all meeting up to go back to the campsite at 11pm anyway, so the remaining three of us grabbed some Dutch fries and retired to a bar until the bus arrived. Some good news too - the missing girls had finally arrived via train!

I'd just like to point out at this time that the weather in Amsterdam was not as pleasant as I'd hoped it to be. It wasn't as bad as had been forecast in England, but it was still overcast and a bit chillier than I would've liked. The knock-on effect of this reared its head when I leapt into my sleeping bed with just a tee-shirt on. I'd decided against buying a really thick sleeping bag for some reason and I was rapidly starting to regret my purchase. My next step was putting a jumper on. When that didn't help, I had to get back into my only pair of jeans I'd brought with me. Not entirely comfortable as I'd like, but at least I was warm enough to get to sleep.

With the morning came a decision: what to do first? I'd originally hoped to go on the optional trip to Volendam so I could see some authentic clogs, cheesemaking and windmills - but I guess I was the only one, as it was called off. Instead, I joined the American guys from the night before - along with three girls, also American, as well as another Aussie - and headed off to see Anne Frank's house.

I've now been to several places rich with the recent history of human atrocities - I can now add another one to the list. It really is hard to fathom just how unbelievably evil people can be to one another until you come face to face with the legacy left behind by the survivors of any atrocity, and in this particular case it's in the diary pages of a young girl guilty of one thing: being born in the wrong place in the wrong time.

It is truly heartbreaking to read the various select passages from her period of self-imposed incarceration, but at the same time it is beautifully uplifting to hear the stories of those who survived this period, describing the sacrifices these incredibly brave people had to make in order to simply survive from one to the next with the heavy threat of persecution all around them. To describe this monument as a highlight almost seems insulting, it was a genuinely moving experience.

Next up, we thought we'd take in a bit of culture by visiting the Van Gogh Museum. It was quite a hike - with more than one wrong turn made - but, eventually we made it.

I'd like to think that I have a certain amount of appreciation of the arts, so I did my best to appreciate the Dutch master's works. Thankfully it's not a difficult thing to do, as some of his work was truly spectacular - and I actually learned quite a bit. As it turns out, Van Gogh only decided to become an artist late in his life - without even knowing if he had any talent for it! As it turns out, his dedication and determination eventually won out in the end, which is something I greatly admire of anyone. There were a couple of pictures I really enjoyed, and I even accurately detected some of the motives and thinking behind various paintings. All up, a thoroughly enjoyable couple of hours.

Having soaked up history and culture, our next stop was a combination of both these things: a trip to the Heineken Experience! Arriving just minutes before the queue was closed off, I was initially a little wary of going here considering I was less than impressed by the Guinness Factory. Despite this, I was enjoying the company a great deal (having had some time to get to know the girls a bit more) so I figured it'd be a bit of fun. Besides, by the end of the tour we were given three drinks and a free gift.

Admittedly, it was a lot more fun than the Guinness factory, but they were both pretty similar: both are basically just big museums with a few artifacts from the past scattered around the place. There were more places for some amusing photo opportunities at Heineken, though. Plus, there were more drinks and each bar had a great atmosphere.

By now we were really having a good time - three beers in 30 minutes will do that - and we were all getting on really well, so it was quickly decided it was time to find a coffee shop.

This is where the code starts, by the way. If you know what I'm talking about, great.

We found one not too far from Heineken and headed inside. We each grabbed a cake, along with a few other local specialaties, and sat around for a little while relaxing. This didn't last too long, sadly, as half of our small group had to head back to the meeting point to join the rest of the tour group. Another optional extra on this trip was a live entertainment show down in the red light district - and I figured while I was here, I may as well sample a bit of everything on offer here.

If I had the choice again, knowing what I know now, I'd definitely skip the show. I'll refrain from a detailed critique, only to say it wasn't worth it.

When we eventually emerged from the theatre, our tour guide took us for a walk around the red light district. Now, I'd heard a lot about this area (primarily: don't take pictures lest you wish your camera to end up in a watery grave), but it's still quite a sight to behold. On the way around, two of the girls on the tour were propositioned by strangers on the street, too. After taking in the sights of all sorts of working women, we headed back to the bus and, consequently, the campsite. Funnily enough, I slept like a baby this night.

For our final day in the 'dam we were pencilled in for a boat ride around the many canals. Apparently there are more canals in Amsterdam than Venice, so there were plenty of areas to travel through. Sadly, this was our last taste of the city as we were soon herded back onto the coach for the return journey, which saw us arrive back in London by 9pm or so.

Admittedly, I was expecting Amsterdam to be smaller, a bit dirty and extremely sleazy - it was none of these things. In fact, it's probably the most beautiful place I've been to so far - in every possible way. Yes, there are areas of Amsterdam that aren't quite as nice as others, but even in places such as the red light district there's still an atmosphere of fun in the air that you don't normally see in most cities.

I only really had one day to see the sights, which wasn't nearly enough. I guess this means I'm just going to have to go back again!