Why do Universities make me feel stupid?

Back on the road again, as promised. It's now my second day in Oxford and I'm having a bit of a break between sight-seeing and grabbing some dinner.

I arrived yesterday via bus around 2.30pm and first impressions weren't very favourable, I'm afraid to say. Don't ask me why, but there's something about Oxford that seems a bit... unpleasant. It's taken me a day or so to work out what it is, but I'll get to that later.

It took me a while to find my hostel (it helps to look on the right side of the road), and once I'd checked in I took a long stroll around the town. I first went down to the river and walked along it for as far as I thought it was sensible, then wearily trod the pavements up and down the city streets. During my wanderings, nothing really stood out as particularly interesting and I was starting to regret spending three nights here.

Making it back to the hostel by the time it was dark, I huddled inside the teevee room to watch Australia win the cricket (although I missed some of it due to napping on the lounge). By now I was hungry, so I walked the streets at night until I found somewhere that looked good.

This morning, in no particular rush, I was up and out the door by 11am. My plan was to catch the sight-seeing bus tour and figure out where I'd visit. I took the tour the entire way around to begin with (a good hour), then hopped off outside Trinity College just in time to catch a walking tour that was about to begin.

The bus trip was interesting and it gave me a better understanding of Oxford, but didn't exactly show off the place very well. It wasn't until the walking tour guide had taken us through one of the colleges that Oxford started to click for me and I really started to appreciate the place.

You see, the problem is that almost all of the interesting sights here are locked up and only really accessible to the students. Sure, you can poke your head inside some of the colleges and even admire the architecture of the historic buildings, but Oxford is now almost exclusively for those attending the University, so if you're an outsider you're left out in the streets.

I'm no stranger to Universities, but the ones I've been to are nothing like this place. For the benefit of those who have no experience with University towns such as Oxford, let me fill you in a bit - it was all new to me, aren't I naive?

Rather than having an enclosed area within the city that contains the University campus, in this case the entire city is the University. This means the separate buildings of each faculty are spread out across the town in between the regular places you'd expect to see in any city, as are the many colleges where students stay, are tutored, eat and socialise. Each college has its own chapel and library, and each is impressive in its own way. Just don't walk on the grass.

The tour took us through five or so different colleges, with each one following the same basic layout and features. There are also plenty of archaic rules and rituals that are still followed hundreds of years after their introduction, which I find simultaneously fascinating and sort of disturbing at the same time.

After the walking tour, I took myself up yet another tower (nowhere near as high as St Paul's) to take a look at the city from up high. I was also interested in seeing the Botanical Gardens, so I walked up there through the grounds of Christ Church and spent an hour or so inspecting the different species that are being tended to there.

Having finally clicked to my understanding of Oxford, I finally realised what it was that was bugging me about the place: I've always felt like a trespasser in Universities, even when I was attending them. I can't explain it, but back when I was attending classes I always had this feeling that I wasn't supposed to be there and could never shake my feeling of awkwardness about being a student.

While we were wandering through one of the colleges, our guide explained that those who weren't a part of the University were generally considered the lowest of the low - something I've felt about myself quite a few times over the years. I have serious self-confidence issues that I'm trying to come to terms with through this long trek across the world, so coming face-to-face with these feelings once again has been a bit of an eye opener.

This is why I have the same feeling here, only on a much larger scale. The whole city is the University, so no matter where I go here I'm always going to feel like an outsider.