15 Years - Well Worth the Wait

I think I was around 15 when I first heard of Skinny Puppy. One of my friends had just come back from a trip to America and had brought back a CD of theirs called 'Too Dark Park'. It was a twisted, nasty and thoroughly amazing album which helped open my eyes to a new form of music I was slowly beginning to appreciate.

Tonight, I finally saw them live - and it was entirely worth the long wait! Before I discuss it, though, let me go through what I've had to endure to finally see them.

First of all, they've never - ever - toured Australia. There were constant rumours that it was going to happen, but that ended rather obviously when they split up in 1996. Once again, one of my favourite bands I'd never see live. Things turned positive a few years ago when they announced they had reformed and were touring again - with the band even saying they were planning to finally make it to Aus!

It never happened. Word on the street was they asked for too much money, so they never made the trip. Another tour missed.

Tonight, however, all of that changed!

Before they took the stage, however, a rather bizarre chap named Otto van Schirach did... something. His accoutrements involved a laptop, a mixing desk, a strange looking stuffed bird and a flashing (what looked like a) dog. The music was crazy and so was he - he waddled around the stage dressed in a kind of superhero costume (complete with eye mask, cape and underwear), then proceeded to make incoherent noises along to the music.

To be honest, it was utter rubbish, but it was hilarious at the same time. He was very obviously taking the piss, which became even more apparent when someone came on stage with him dressed in a giant woolly monster costume - with a pair of bananas for teeth. Otto then pulled out a flashing toy sword and pretended to duel the beast, eventually slaying it along with the music. Later on, more costumed weirdos hit the stage, but nothing could top the banana-beast.

Then the time came - finally, I was going to see one of my all-time favourite bands! This time around they're only a three-piece: cEvin kEy, Ogre and some dude on drums. Their last tour, Otto van Schirach was their guitarist, so I was a little surprised he didn't turn up on stage.

The first couple of songs Ogre was hiding behind a shadow screen, making weird shadows to go along with the vocals. It wasn't until the third song he finally stalked out looking like a cross between a geisha girl, someone from KISS and a vivisection patient - fake blood everywhere and pumping nicely.

For the entirety of the show I alternated between dancing and taking some pictures (and videos - check YouTube!) and by the end I was drenched in sweat. The crowd was okay, although there were far too many tall people in front of me standing still and elbowing anyone who accidentally nudged them. I had a good time regardless.

The set list contained these songs, but not necessarily in this order:

Anger
ugLi
Dogshit
Tormentor
Rodent
politikiL
Amnesia
daL
Hardset Head
Dig It
Worlock
I'mmortal
Fascist Jock Itch
Far Too Frail
Blue Serge

I'm ecstatic I finally got to see them - once again, proof of why I have no intention of ever leaving this city. I'm just having too much damn fun!

This was the first gig of music month too: next week is Tool, the week after is Sonic Youth and a couple of days after that I'm heading back to Birmingham to see the Aussie Pink Floyd show. Then a few days later I'm off to see David Gilmour! Did I mention how awesome it is living here?

I guess you may be asking what I've been up to the last few weeks? Well, it's been ups and downs really. My first week in the flat was relatively sedate, full of work and band practice. It became somewhat exciting on the second weekend when I went to Denmark Street to buy a new bass - oh boy, is it beautiful. I'll get some pictures up at some point - then again, maybe I'm the only one interested in bass guitars?

Later that afternoon, after arriving home, Dave sent me a message that he was a pub near Tottenham Court Road and I should join him. Always looking for an excuse to get out, I was on my way there in minutes. We proceeded to chat, bullshit, drink and have a great time for the evening - until Dave's girlfriend arrived with two of her friends.

By this time I was very, very happy (read: acting like a drunken dickhead) so I made a bit of a fool of myself, but that's okay because we were all doing the same. Anyway, by the time it was time to leave, Dave and Murielle headed on their own way - while one of the friends asked me where I lived. I told her, to which she responded that she was in North London as well and we should share a cab ride home. Not one to say no to a beautiful woman, I agreed. Then she surprised me by saying I should just stay at her place. Not one to say no to a beautiful woman asking me to stay at her place for the night, I agreed again.

On the way home, I started flirting like crazy with her - and I'm certain she was returning some of it. When we got close to her place, she insisted we stop off at an off-licence and buy some more drinks - which we did. Arriving back at her flat, I plonked myself on the lounge while she sat on the rug - and then called me over to sit with her. Not one to say no to a beautiful woman urging me to sit by her on the rug, I joined her.

We spent the next hour or two chatting, bullshitting and listening to music until the light started to appear outside - at which point she panicked a bit as she had to work the next day (but not until 1pm). Feeling a bit tired myself, I agreed we should retire. Ready to hit the lounge for the night, I was stunned when she told me to follow her to the bedroom.

I am ever so tempted to leave this story right here to let your overactive imaginations to run wild, but I'm not that cruel. Other people are, as you're about to find out.

As it turns out, her bed was quite huge so she offered to share it with me, so long as I didn't make any moves on her. She lent me some clothes and we hopped into bed, chatting some more and making eyes at each other - I swear, it was not a one-way thing. After a bit more bullshitting, I plucked up the courage and decided to make a move - fortune favours the bold and all that.

I leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. Then I leaned forward and kissed her on the nose. Then I leaned forward and kissed her on the lips - to not a great deal of response. I tried again, to a bit more response followed by her stroking my face. Taking this as a positive sign, I leaned in for another kiss - even better response.

Until she suddenly exclaimed shock about how she'd kissed a 22 year old guy earlier in the night.

That effectively put an end to my advances, which I'm sure was the intended effect.

I tried to put my best face on, smiled then rolled over and went to sleep. Woke up many hours later, showered then headed into the city to meet Kylie for a catch-up day. We'd swapped numbers before I left, and I actually felt really positive about the whole thing. Hell, I may have been turned down, but I still managed to spend the night in the bed of a beautiful woman. Things are definitely looking up!

I'd dearly love to say this story had a happy ending, but it doesn't. The aftermath is long and complicated, which has lead me to feeling very angry and used in a way. I haven't seen her or heard from her since, but I've been told to stay the hell away by the only person who knows her at all. For once, I've decided to take this advice.

Once again, this little escapade has just proven that I know absolutely nothing about women and that they're the most wonderful and frustrating creatures on the planet. Then again, I've only told my side of the story.

There's still more to tell, though. Yesterday we kicked the singer out of our band. He's a really nice guy, but he's been thoroughly unreliable when it comes to rehearsing and the final straw came when he announced to Dave his intentions to move to America or, if that fell through, back home to Italy. This was the point when we realised his heart simply wasn't in the band, so we started looking for new singers. Two days later, we found her in a close friend of Murielle's. Now all we need is a drummer and we'll finally have a proper band!

I might also be joining a second band this week, too. I ran into an old friend from Newcastle a few weeks ago and his fiance's band has just had to kick their bassist out after ruining a very important gig for them. When I mentioned that I'm a bassist, his eyes almost popped out of his sockets and I was quickly having an intense conversation about music with the lady in question. I've been given a handful of songs to learn and I'm going to have my first practice (I guess it's an audition, really) on Thursday. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Umm, that's about it really. If anyone is reading this, please send me an email (andrewontour@gmail.com) so I have an idea of how large my audience is - it's something I've been curious about for a while.