I Hate Driving

"There are two types of people in the world: those who were born to drive and those who were born to be driven."

It may seem a little strange to learn just how much I hate driving, especially considering I'm about to spend the next however many months travelling around various countries and provinces. However, yesterday I spent 13 hours in my car driving from Melbourne to Newcastle and I think I'm quite justified in expressing how much I hate driving.

The above (mis)quote is actually from Men Behaving Badly, and it sums up my feeling regarding driving quite nicely: I consider myself part of the latter group who was unfairly thrust into the former. Of course life, being the vicious bastard it can be, decided to play yet another cruel practical joke on me by pairing me up for eight years with someone with no licence and no inclination of getting one. This isn't meant as a grudge against her, I'm simply pointing it out to try and demonstrate that, over the years, I've done a lot of driving.

I'll admit, I am partly to blame for the situation as I passed my Ls test on my 16th birthday, and then my earned my Ps the day after I turned 17 (my birthday was on a Sunday that year). It seems as though I was chomping at the bit to get my hands around the steering wheel, right? Well, yes, I haven't always felt this way.

It's not actually the driving part that I can't stand; the problem is that I have a pure and blind hatred of everyone else on the road. From the inconsiderate truck drivers, the impatient taxi drivers, the dangerous idiots (and I know a few personally - idiot is too mild a word) who seem to think the roads are their own personal race tracks, or even better, seem to think it's okay to drive when they're drunk. Every single time I get behind the wheel I start to panic that this might be the last thing I ever do - and I have absolutely no control over it.

I'm also not the greatest passenger in the world. Admittedly, I love being driven around (because it's such a rare occurrence), but my innate distrust of people other than me behind the wheel tends to make me rather nervous when I'm in not in control of the vehicle. It's not uncommon to see me grab on to arm rests or tense up when the speed goes higher than I'm comfortable with - I've even been known to stomp my foot down on occasion in a futile effort to slam on the imaginary brakes.

Basically, I have a fear of becoming a road statistic.

This is one of the reasons why I really enjoyed living in Melbourne. Public transport there is fantastic (despite what the locals will claim) and it is very easy to get around without ever requiring a car. I have a friend who drives to work every day because he can't stand being near the people using public transport. I, on the other hand, am far happier to avoid the stress of driving in a big city at peak hour times. I find it way more peaceful to put some music on and either walk or tram it home (of course, it helped that I was in walking distance to work).

Yesterday's trip was mostly free of these problems, although I was occasionally amazed at how inconsiderate some people could be when it was extremely obvious that my very heavily packed little car wasn't able to stick to the speed limit when going up a steep hill. Especially when it's a truck that's decided to tailgate me in a misguided attempt to get me to speed up. I never know why these morons think this tactic is going to work; I'm far more likely to slow down just to piss them off some more.

So having admitted all of this, I guess the big question is: what does this mean for my trip? Well, not a lot really. I'm actually a big fan of public transport (although I do have a minor problem with flying), so I'm perfectly happy to train, bus, tram, ferry or whatever my way around to where I want to go. I've been warned about the cost and reliability of the train system in the UK, but I'm really in no rush to get around. I'll take my time.

Anyway, the good news is that I'm now in Newcastle - I now have two weeks exactly to get everything ready before I leave.